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musings and writings from alessandra pereyra

Steps

You face the road daringly, for you know this journey will take a while; things will change, and move, and evolve. Perhaps, and sometimes you fear this, you won’t be the same when you’re through it. And perhaps, and you fear this more, you won’t. And so, you take a first step and your travel starts.

The road is broad, as broad as it can be, and long, as long as you’ll make it. There’s really no other way to describe it, since the road will change and turn and morph for every traveller, and you’re standing there, a newcomer, a stranger, trying to get a grasp of this strange land.

You peak ahead, searching for understanding, trying to find where your way will take it, but there’s no right way to check your progress, nor a right one. Not yet, at least. That will come later, but such promise is something you’ll have to earn.

You take another step. It’s uncomfortable and heavy at first. Perhaps uncanny. But you’ve been here before, and know things are never the same. Not quite. They’ll appear similar, and familiar, but then something will creep out and make you face something new. But that’s part of the journey, and so you keep on moving and you keep on going.

On its time, things will go easier. Every bit you go on forward makes everything more bearable, and more manageable. You’ll grow into the road and it’ll start to work with you. Just a tad. Enough. You start to find its rhythm, and you learn how the it goes and you find where it turns. You even start to recognize when it gets trickier, and where it’s out to get you. You’ll get to decide how to move forward, and how to see between lies, and skill; between misdirections and art. At due time, you’ll get to watch ahead and find out where the way leads you and you can prepare for it. But just for a while. The road is not for the weary not for the weak-minded and never, ever, something you can trust completely.

You find out you’re getting used to it and so, you start to move faster. Patterns are learned, mysteries resolved. You meet people along the road, and you join their stories and they share their secrets. Families will grow, and people will go on changing and you’ll belong, for a while. You’re no longer alone and you hope to remain in their presence till you reach your end. Some will reach that place with you. Others will be forgotten. Others will die. You learn how to say goodbye and you learn how to keep on moving.

Hours and days will pass in front of you and you’ll hear will grow a bit heavier, and your mind a bit tired. Sometimes, when things are not clear, you’ll take a look behind you, and others you’ll even walk back once and maybe twice. The road travelled will whisper its stories again, and perhaps this time you’ll understand, and perhaps this will lead you to new places, and to find new ways to move forward.

Then, one day will arrive, and the road behind will be longer than the road ahead, and you’ll smile. You understand how you’re conquering. Advice has been learned, and news travel faster now. There’s even a chance you’ll know what lies ahead, and you’ll grow to fear it and you’ll get angst knowing it’s out there, but you know it’ll come to you, inevitably, since that’s how this kind of things go.

You know others have forgotten its path, and others have even dropped it. But you persevere, and you keep on taking one step and then another. This is not your end. This is not the end. One day you’ll start seeing it, way afar, yes, but visible now, and you’ll grow more understanding. Tales will start to finish. The road will move, and turn, and change but you remain.

People you’ve met all this time will face you and bow one last time. They’ll go on their ways, and they’ll meet others as once they met you, like they’ve done since the start.

And then, just as you started, the road will meet its end at your feet. You know one more step will get you there. One more step. You dare to take it, for it’ll mean to say goodbye to that journey and perhaps you’re not ready yet. You take another look at all you’ve walked. You see the roads, and its turns; you see the tricks and the scares, the changes and twists; you’ll remember the danger and the promises. The growth. The change.

You take your time, but in the end, as always, it will happen; you take the last step, and the road is over, the mountain behind and freedom ahead.

You’ll breathe the air once again time and perhaps you’ll do it again. You’ll look around, like waking up from a dream, trying to remember what comes next and to get hold on everything you’ve learned so far. Things will appear different, since you’re now different. Much has to be said about how world will look. How people will react. How love will taste. And then, when the time is right, and when you’re ready enough, you’ll feel prepared to do it all over again; you’ll open another book, and your road, like before, will start.

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